Ummm....i'm hilarious.

I’ve been lied to
So what’s the truth?
Now I’m not gonna hide it all, keep it in all from you
I’ve been dying to know what you tried
You’ve been lying so:
Honey, I’m not your honey pie
young joe biden looks so wholesome…i would be his lover from the other side of the tracks…he picks me up at 1 am and we have good missionary sex in his pick up truck…he tells me about his football dreams and i, well i listen
(via killmy-medicine)
So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?
“Do not come any closer.”
Now that’s a well done biblical license plate.
(via killmy-medicine)